Little Moments

Being a mother comes with so many blessings. But with those blessings comes those moments where you absolutely want to rip your hair out. (Or whatever is left of it after your child yanks it out as they please). Last night was one of those times. Some parents choose to co-sleep with their baby to get those extra cuddles in or to just be closer to their child. Some parents are forced into co-sleeping by their stubborn baby who just, for lack of better words, sucks at sleeping. I am the latter. Carson, for the first 6 weeks of his life, would only sleep on my chest at night, now as much as I loved cuddling with him during the day, this arrangement was less than ideal and a little frightening. He then transitioned into co-sleeping for a short period, then to the pack n' play, and finally when he was 4 months old and weighed too much for his pack n' play we moved to the crib and actually got some use out of it. Things were going great until one night, when he was 5-6 months old he just decided he was done with sleeping in his crib and would just cry and cry until he was between TJ and I in the bed. Now we did try to keep putting him in his crib those next few nights but he would just cry and we were exhausted so we figured we would just cut our losses.

You try saying no to that face.

Fast forward 8 months and that boy still sleeps in the bed, has kicked his father out to make room for himself (because when you're 24 pounds obviously you need 80% of a queen size bed), and STILL, for lack of better words, sucks at sleeping. Now to actually get to the point of "Little Moments," these past couple of nights Carson will wake up literally at least 10 times and half the time he is completely unconsolable. I was having a moment at 2 AM last night where I wanted to rip my hair out but was trying to do my best to stay calm and soothe him, after 30 minutes of this he finally calmed down and I laid my hand on his stomach thinking he would go to sleep soon. He started to play with my fingers and I was thinking "Oh great here we go again." But then he ever so sweetly, interlocked his fingers with mine. It wasn't even for 10 seconds that he was holding my hand but it was all I needed to recharge back into loving, nurturing mommy mode and all of those times he woke up were completely forgotten.
So I suppose the point is, motherhood is hard and you may have those times when you're wondering how you're going to make it through the day. But it's those little, sweet moments that make everything worth it. And that time earlier that day when he banged you in the head with a remote? Never happened.